Parody: I’ll Make a Man of You (Finck / Wimperis 1914)
I don’t want to be a soldier,
I don’t want to go to war;
I’d rather roam
Here at home,
And keep myself on the earning of a lady typist.
I don’t want a bayonet in my stomach,
Nor my eyelids shot away,
For I am quite happy
With my mammy and my pappy –
So I wouldn’t be a soldier any day.
Nettleingham, F.T., More Tommy’s Tunes: An Additional Collection of Soldiers’ Songs […], (Erskine Macdonald, London, 1918)
Nettleingham suggests that this song is sung to the tune of “Come, My Lad, and Be a Soldier”, a 1918 tune with music by Ralph Nairn and lyrics by Harrison Brockbank and Leslie Stiles. Despite the titles sounding similar, unfortunately, the lyrics don’t fit this melody.
https://digital.library.illinois.edu/items/98fe6320-e466-0135-4ad8-0050569601ca-0
The song is actually a parody of the tune “I’ll Make a Man of You” with music by Herman Finck and original lyrics by Arthur Wimperis.
I don’t want to be a soldier
I don’t want to go to war.
I’d rather stay at home
Around the streets to roam.
And live off the earnings of a lady typist
I don’t want a bay’net in my belly
Don’t want my bollocks shot away.
I’d rather stay in England,
In merry, merry England
And fornicate my ruddy life away.
Various, Oh! It’s a Lovely War – Songs, Ballads & Parodies of the Great War (International Music Publications Limited, London 2005)